The First Kippers
by Percyfan1998
Summary: The year is 1923, and only now the NWR begins to run its now infamously known train 'The Flying Kipper,' but back then, it certainly earned its name in a very interesting sort of way... A Thomas the Tank Engine historical one off.


~ Sodor, 1923 ~

The North Western Railway was a growing railway, and a busy one at that. Every day the engines found themselves working new, different trains. But most notably of their changing duties and loads became more apparent one night at the sheds at Vicarstown.

"Phew!" Gordon grunted as 87546 pulled into his berth. "What a smell! Where have you been all day eh? The least you could've done before coming back is have a wash down!"

"Oh shut it!" snapped the big blue engine, "for your information Gordon, I was working goods trains all morning from Tidmouth, unlike you and those fancy coaches of yours!"

"And what has that to do with your 'pleasant' aroma?"

"Every single one from Tidmouth had heavy fish vans on them! And in case you didn't get it Gordon, fish is smelly! That's why, I hadn't a single moment of rest because the Director ran me into the ground today, and my passengers didn't stop complaining either about my smell! And those coaches made it worst…!" 87546 ended, clearly infuriated. Gordon said nothing.

"Well," piped up Wiley. "If it's of any help, _all_ of us goods engines 'ave had to pull those fish vans '46, you're not the only one."

"Bah," 87546 grunted, and went to sleep.

The trains went very much in the same fashion for a while, but soon the others' protests about the smell, and the weight the vans added onto their trains stacked up that it became clear a solution to the problem was needed.

Thomas was very excited when he heard the solution. "The Fat Director says," he would gush, "that since the fisherman bring in their hauls early in the morning, or late at night that the best way to move _a majority_ of the fish at once is to put it all on a special train. Some sort of 'express goods' train is what he called it."

"An express?!" spluttered Gordon. "Now they're calling goods trains 'expresses'?! What is happening to the world…"

"I heard," continued Thomas. "That the Fat Director wants to give the train a name, but has yet to decide upon one."

"Pah," grunted Gordon, "as if anyone has a care for a lowly fish train. The express though my dear engine, now there's a train that has deserved its name…!"

A week later, the arrangements with the harbour were made, vans shunted aside to be loaded with fish on a quay found to be the most ideal for the loading and unloading of the marine creatures. Everything went as the board had planned for the new service, now the only trouble was, who would pull the train? The engines all debated who would pull it, Gordon, '62 and '46 were very much against the idea themselves, Edward wasn't so sure, and Wiley remained neutral.

In the end, the Fat Director chose Edward to take the train. The big engines were hardly jealous, Henry wasn't really paying the matter mind, he had other things to worry about... But Thomas and Wiley were very pleased for their friend. "You'll do great," they said, "show those big lugs just how a really useful engine pulls a train, ay?"

Edward was fired up early next morning, he had spent the night at Tidmouth to be prepared and then snaked his way tender first to the harbor. All around, men were hustling and bustling with the crates of fish, crane arms swung and everyone was working fast. They banged the last door shut, and with a whistle, the fish train began its maiden voyage.

Edward had in the past pulled trains during the early hours of the day indeed, but with the fish train at dawn it seemed different, the peaceful quiet countryside and the crashing of waves near the lineside was nothing short of beautiful to Edward. And by the time he reached the top of Gordon's Hill he saw a perfect sunrise rising above the towns and houses below in a breathtaking manner. "Marvelous," he awed.

He reached the Other Railway in good time, and made his way back to Vicarstown, by then Henry was already leaving with the first train, and Thomas was arranging Gordon's express coaches. Edward's first duty was a goods train, but as he bustled into the yard past the water column Gordon became most indignant.

"Ugh! Old timer, I know you're past it, but you don't need to smell like dead fish!" he yelled.

Edward was most surprised, "What are you on about, Gordon?"

"You're foul odor, Edward. Most unbecoming of an engine like you, and I thought 87546 smelled rotten enough already. I should think the passengers would run away the moment they sniffed you."

"What's wrong with smelling like hard work?" Edward retaliated, sure, the smell of fish wasn't a pleasant aroma, but it was no cause for Gordon to be so rude.

"What's wrong? You smelling like a disgrace to the Railway, that's what. Now be off with you, 'old smelly Edward.' "

Edward was most annoyed, but gritted his teeth in annoyance and went set about shunting his trucks…

For Edward, the day only got worse too, he had had to take a passenger train after his goods run from Tidmouth – and the passengers had some very choice words for the Driver, and the Stationmaster's about the smell emanating from Edward's tender. The trucks didn't help either, and thought it great fun to mock Edward whenever he passed them.

As the week wore on, Edward tried to ignore the sneers from the big three blue engines, but soon it began to get to him.

It was around the time when Gordon had to pull an early morning train when Edward's last bit of restraint came in. Edward was just rounding the corner border wall outside the station when Gordon from the platform sniffed loudly.

"I say, Thomas," he jeered smugly. "Whatever is that awful stench?"

Thomas was on the other platform and gave Gordon a queried look. "It's just the fish train Gordon, I don't see what's the fuss all about Edward-"

"No proper engine should ever be seen with such a smelly train as Edward does," Gordon cut in, loudly enough for Edward to hear, as he began to set off out of the station. "It's a disgrace. Isn't that right little Thomas? Now hurry up and take a bath, Edward you could use one. Ha-ha!"

Edward whooshed indignantly in the big blue engines direction and crossly chuffed away. "That Gordon!" he exclaimed crossly when he met up with Thomas again. "Greasy and irritating he is. The nerve he has, I'm just doing my work, and he's making a big public deal, ugh!"

"Oh come now Edward, Gordon's just a big bully. Pay him no mind," Thomas said, but Edward didn't hear him and slouched away…

Later that day Edward brought empty trucks to Crovan's Gate to be loaded at the Skarloey Railways loading platform, he was sizzling crossly all the while.

"Woah! Easy there, Edward. What's gotten you all fired up?" Rheneas asked when Edward had finished.

Edward sighed and told him all about his frustrations with Gordon, the fish train and the other engines' teasings. The little engine pondered for a moment.

"Pay them no mind Edward. Y'know, if Beatrice – our lines guards van for the passengers," he said, glancing his eyes at the dirty old guards van near the carriage shed. "Cared about every single passenger who complained of her fish-like smell, where'd you think she would be if she let that get to her hmm?"

Edward thought for a moment, probably just as mad as me," he chuckled. "You're right Rheneas, I suppose I have been feeling a bit irritated more so lately. Still, I wish the others would just stop for once…"

"You said the Director only intended for you to pull the train in its first week…?"

"Yes…" Edward answered cautiously. Then, it hit him. "Wait… There is that one duty I have in a few days…so another engine will have to pull the train eventually!"

"Exactly," smirked Rheneas. Edward laughed at his revelation and went back to work, feeling much better.

"What?!" Gordon thundered with shock and anger. "The fish train! Me?!"

"Yes, _you_ Gordon," the Fat Director said sternly. Gordon wanted to argue further but the Director cut him. "Listen to me Gordon. Edward has an important duty tomorrow with a party of Nobles on the Brendam Branch, and _you_ are the only engine available to take the train, and if it doesn't leave on time, we at the board will have a rough time sorting the marketers out about it. You _will_ pull that train, and you will do so much like the express. Do I make myself clear, number four?"

"C-crystal, sir," Gordon muttered. The Fat Director walked sternly away, when he was out of earshot, Gordon grumbled again. "Preposterous! ME, an express engine, the first of my kind built by Gresley himself, made to pull goods trains… Disgraceful. Why couldn't you do it, Henry?!"

The now blue engine looked uncomfortable. "Err… Sorry, Gordon, but Wiley's helping out on the Arlesburgh line, and I was told to look after some of his trains and well… 98462 said…"

"O-oh-hh…" Gordon grunted. "Knock it off then. I suppose I must _tolerate_ such a squandering duty then… If I must, but I'll show you, I'll show you all how a dignified engine like myself pulls goods trains!"

Gordon was very cross the next morning when he had to wake up early, he was sulking all the way down to the quay. "Stupid wye," he grumbled, "greasy rails… That crane is in a terrible state…! Ugh, that smell…!"

He then banged the trucks furiously. "Woah, easy there Gordon!" his driver said. "You don't want to pop a hole in the vans now do we? Lest tip the kippers over."

"Just couple me and have that guard wave that fancy little lamp of his and get this over with," Gordon snapped back.

He was glad when they could finally leave, Gordon roared through the countryside, the vans rocked and swayed as they went. Soon – all too soon – Vicarstown came into view, Gordon was pleased. " _Excellent_ ," he thought. " _We're early, drop this lot at Barrow and be rid of the smelly stuff, that'll show them. It'll also give me time to get a good wash down…_ "

"Green signal Gordon," the driver noted. "Away we go." But Gordon's driver was wrong, they wasn't just a few minutes early, they were really early! Because they had been speeding along so fast, their early arrival wasn't expected. A branch train was actually expected to have arrived in first for the sidings, but Gordon had beat the engine to it.

It all seemed a blur, Gordon flew along the points, and in-front was a set of buffers! "Horrors!" Gordon cried, "brake driver, brake!" They both tried their best, but the weight of the train was a little too much! Groaning and sliding, Gordon's crew jumped clear, but Gordon smashed into the buffers and rolled just a few feet away from where the rails ended, his train now piled into a heap behind his tender…

The other engines were asleep in their sheds when an awful sound was heard.

– SMASH! –

"What's goin' on?!" Wiley spluttered.

"Beats me," grunted 98462. "I-… Cor! What's with that smell?!"

Thomas sniffed the air, still groggy, his eyes hot open when he realised what he was smelling. "Phew! It's fish!"

Just then they noticed a yard worker running frantically towards them…

Thomas was steamed up and brought to the accident to help the men clean up; it took most of the morning too to clean the yard. The Fat Director was very annoyed when he came to see Gordon.

"Gordon!" he said sternly. "I told you to deliver fish, not idle with them. Now not only have you damaged the vans, but you, your tender, and the buffers now all have to be fixed. I thought you could be a proper fast goods engine, as well as an express engine. Looks like I was wrong, I am most disappointed Gordon…"

Gordon remained shamefully silent, he knew the accident was his fault, and was too ashamed to look the Director straight in the face. "I-I'm sorry, Sir," he murmured meekly.

"I should think so too," the Director continued. "Since Edward's been becoming shall we say… a more welcomed addition to the Brendam branch, I'm afraid now we'll have to see about another engine to look after the fish train… That'll _please_ the board…"

Gordon was repaired soon enough, and soon apologised to Edward for his bad behavior, Edward was pleased with this and never spoke a word about Gordon's accident for a long time. The same could not be said for the other engines however, because for a long time afterwards, the other engines would tease Gordon about fast engines, and how he'd made 'kippers fly with dignity'…!


End file.
